It's rare to feel this expensive, but next to a girl like her...

Greetings to the few who read this, how've you all been? Myself, I've been doing good and I'd like to offer my apologies for that uncontrolled outburst of melancholy last week. Shit happens, I was feeling pretty sideways and that's what came out. Bah.

So what's new, I hear you half-heartedly asking? Well, let's see.. Things at school have been going moderately well, I've been doing some quality work and I think I'll be able to have a coherent and at least satisfyingly functional program to hand-in to our client by semester's end. Honestly, I'd like to have most of it done sooner than later, so that I can then tackle with aplomb the other two remaining projects I'll have to drop by May's end. So much work to be done in such a rapidly dwindling time period. But I'm satisfied, I've realized that these things must be accomplished for me to move on to prospects fresh and exciting. Montreal awaits, with it's new apartments, new schools, new jobs, new people and yes, of course, new challenges. And I can't fucking wait.

Next saturday will see me and Daph heading out to Montreal with the bright glimmering hope of finding an absolutely lovely apartment that somehow manages to be cozy, beautiful, well-situated and of course, fairly affordable. I'm really looking forward to it, but not quite as much as I am to spending my first night there, crashing on my couch/futon/beanbag chair/whatever and watching movies or listening to some records. Sweet.

Speaking of records, I got an early birthday present, a brand new record player! Fantastic. Now I'll be able to enjoy these LPs and 7"s that I took from my parents this week-end, including but not limited to: Stevie Wonder (older stuff), Lionel Ritchie, the Commodores, Shanana (oh hell yes), Huey Lewis & The News, Bad + Thriller era Michael Jackson, Barry White, Dean Martin... oh and the Ghostbusters Theme Song 7" single. Ah, plastic gold. I also managed to find a few nice newer LPs last week-end, namely the Sunny Day Real Estate Live record, which is amazingly powerful, Texas is the Reason's Do You Know Who You Are? and The Sea and Cake's Oui. Great, great finds.

Last friday, City of a Hundred Spires played a very brief set (10 fucking minutes) at the Heritage College Awards Banquet. Highlights were: 10,000$ worth of sound/lighting equipment, the temperature on stage being akin to that of a blast furnace, me unplugging my gear multiple times as a result of my running around the enormous stage, great response from everyone and lastly, COAHS winning a nifty 100$ prize for "creativity/originality"... nifty.

In band matters, things are alright enough, but I'm feeling a certain unease about it all lately. I believe a nice band discussion is in order to put a few things into proper light, namely upcoming shows, summer plans, long-term goals and musical direction, of which I feel we've unjustly pigeon-holed ourselves. Last week, I was listening to our Straight, No Chaser and I concluded that I absolutely love that record, that I'm amazingly proud of it. And for what reason? Because it dared to be absolutely everything it wanted to be. It was everything and anything we felt like doing at that point in time, and there was no need to think twice about it. It's what made us who we were. I'll always remember when some kid on a message-board referred to us as "all-over-the-place instrumental stuff".. fuck yeah. We've lost that drive and perspective. If we're to find it and mesh it with our newfound abilities for song-craftsmanship and melodicism, then I'll be damned if anything can stop us. No shit.

Alright, time for me to retire for the night. Oh and first thing tommorow, go, run the fuck out and buy the new Jaga Jazzist record entitled What We Must. It's stupendously fantastic. The song Stardust Hotel will make you dream of wandering strangely exotic, yet enticingly beautiful locales, all while taking in the cool night air and being absolutely intrigued at what you might encounter next. Seriously.

Good night and cheers.. oh and leave a fucking comment if you read this, I'm bloody lonely.

Oh, and for those of you wondering, there is no titular "girl like her".. The song Let's Play Clowns by Minus the Bear is amazing though.

Towing the weary down river like rudderless wrecks...

So it's been what, a bit over a month since I last jotted down some of my thoughts in this thing? It seems that as per par, I failed to deliver the goods... I can't quite grasp why I have such a hard time finding the incentive and motivation to write down a few simple words in here, but here goes nothing yet again.

I am a wreck. At this point it seems like the only phrase I can come up with that adequately sums up how I feel. I'm sitting here trying my hand at writing these witty or clever lines to properly explain myself, and honestly I keep falling flat. I am a mess. Yeah, that one works as well. And now my attention is diverted by this absolutely beautiful distorted riff in Mineral's Unfinished, and no matter how hopeful and inspiring it is, there's simply no hipster indie way for me to word any of this.. And I am disappointed. Disappointed that my resolution to put enormous effort into my school projects hasn't fully worked out. Disappointed that I'm still working the same job, even after resolving that I was going to obtain a new one, in an effort to change at least part of what has made me so jaded. Disappointed that I gave up on a few situations that could've led to something genuinely nice, new and positive. Disappointed that I've become so boisterously emotional. Disappointed that I have no one to share with. Disappointed that I am now such a reclusive loner, ultimately distancing myself from some of my best friends, from some people that I truly care about. Disappointed that I misspelled "disappointed" so many times in the first version of this entry. Disappointed that I can't write guitar parts as good as that fucking Mineral riff.

Now is that to say that I'm disappointed in myself? Honestly, I am not. I am proud of who I am and of the few things that I've accomplished. I am a flawed individual for sure, but I'm very grateful to be aware of these blemishes; it affords me opportunities for bettering myself.

What's this I hear? "Great, fucker decides to write a new post just to whine about how he hates himself!?" No, that wasn't quite the point. This post is a reminder of where I was, and ultimately of where I'm heading; so that I can look back on all of this in a few months and be proud of where I'll be. And I mean that in the most positive way. Time to get to work. Cheers...