A toast to you, your whisper, your smile...

I keep amazing myself at how little resolve I seem to have to keep this blog up to date. It's not like it's a particularly taxing exercise, I sit down, reflect on the going-ons that have occured since the last time I decided to burden this page with my thoughts, think of witty ways of putting them to said page (all in a vain attempt at making me seem that small bit more interesting... to whom? I wouldn't know really...) and finally hit that little 'publish' button and hope that someone takes something from it. Kindof pathetic really, but oh well.. here we go again.

So here I am sitting in my backyard by the pool, it's about 1:30am, it's a cool night with a cool breeze, I got back from watching War of the Worlds not too long ago (go see it if Tripods wrecking shit, Tim Robbin's being creepy, insane and awesome all at the same time, and horrendous endings that nearly ruin movies are your thing..) and I'm sitting here at the computer trying to adequately sum up the last two or so months of my meager existence. Where to begin? Well, you all should know that I am done, finished and ultimately rid of CEGEP. I managed to barely crawl out of the fiery crimson wreckage that was my stint in Computer Sciences, and it seems like I'm going to make a full recovery. The marks are in, they are by no means stellar, but they guarantee me my DEC and honestly, I could not ask for more. Concordia University and a potential new career in journalism are the next things on my 'you're doing it, you're fucking doing it' list and I actually feel quite compelled to get through them. Oh, who am I kidding, I'm fucking giddy with excitement about it.

The big move to Montreal is happening relatively soon, I should be settling in around early August, with preparations for said operation beginning as early as this week-end (which is to say cleaning my filthy appartment.. ie: hermetically sealing off the room, pumping CLR into it, letting it rest for a few days.. wow that'd be ideal) Now honestly, this whole 'new city' thing has me quite intrigued. I'm looking forward to discovering new hang-out spots, new restaurants, meeting new people and also getting involved in a whole new music scene (and by that I don't mean rubbing elbows and knocking back pints with Win Butler and Efrim Menuck every night.. although I can dream).

Speaking of music, I guess I should bring up on here that City of a Hundred Spires is no more. To a certain degree, this was my decision and it wasn't an easy one to make, although I did see it coming. It just felt to me like the time had come to move on to something different, the dynamic and drive that I used to feel within the band was gone, and I wasn't having fun practicing and playing shows anymore. I figured it was best to end it there, and not let it drag on, especially with my moving to a different town. It would've killed us even more to invest more time, money, effort and heart into something that would've fallen appart at a later date. There will be farewell shows sometime in August, I'll keep you all posted on when and where. I guess I've been half-assedly working on some solo stuff that I might post on here if ever I get comfortable with my 'bedroom-pop' persona, but don't expect anything too soon.

On a side note, has anyone ever noticed that hip-hop is virtually the only genre to feature explicit name-dropping and a detailed explanation of the intricacies of the genre itself, you know, shit like 'Yeah, this is the real hip-hop, dropping the sickest rhymes at ya from the west coast!' ? I'd have trouble imagining something like 'Yo, this is the OG post-rock crew, we be pimpin' the illest octave chords and craziest build-ups this side of the Mason-Dixon line..' Ok, maybe I'm just an idiot.

Is this getting long-winded? Bah, who cares if it is, I haven't written on here in ages, it's still really nice out, I'm not that tired and I still have some stuff to say.. I've noticed over the last while that my self-confidence is basically shot to shit, which is somewhat strange since I sincerely haven't devalued myself in any way, and I still have the same basic outlook on who I am that I've had for as long as I can remember (that stability is something I am very grateful for). But it just seems that I find myself wondering 'what exactly, if anything, do I have to offer?' lately, and it wouldn't be entirely out of left field to assume that it's at the root of this 'lonely' feeling I've been getting farely often these days. Maybe I'm just jaded, possibly a smidge bitter and somewhat dissillusioned? Maybe my past experiences are taking their toll on my self-confidence. Maybe it's a little from column A and a little from column B. Maybe I'm full of it and that if I'd only lighten up abit I'd realize that I might be missing out on quite a few goods things (not that my life isn't filled with those already) ? I guess I'll just give it some time, it's not like I'd actually contemplate changing how I am to fit some undetermined criteria, I'm way too stubborn for such nonsense.

I guess I'll end all of this with a plea to everyone to just go out and enjoy the little things. Go for a late night walk and gawk at the stars, go explore some place you've never dared and make an excursion out of it, go out and have a great conversation about anything or nothing with someone, visit new restaurants and try new food, go on smallish roadtrips to whocareswhere, go out to shows that have bands on the bill that you've never heard of, read books and watch movies. Hell, just do something. So many of us go about our days taking for granted all these things that lie right underneath our noses, it'd be a shame to not take notice, even if it is only once in awhile. This is making allot of sense to me right now, hopefully it'll be as coherent when I wake up, and maybe just a tad interesting to whomever reads it. It's 3:00am now and I have to get up abit too soon, so I'm gonna head out. I hope everybody has a nice one, whatever that might be.

music that fueled this blabbering:
The Appleseed Cast - Low Level Owl Volumes 1 and 2
The Arcade Fire - Funeral (why the fuck am I not tiring of this record?)