Golgotha - The Place of the Skull

I find my misfortune to be highly amusing sometimes. For example, who would have thought that something as innocent as going to Chapters to buy children's books would result in Vince and I getting sprayed with piss? I certainly didn't. So get this. We were walking down George Street heading towards the Chapters on the corner of Rideau and Sussex, when all of a sudden this abhorrent smell found its way into my nasal passages. It was a vile smell, the kind you would imagine attached to something being dredged up from the recesses of hell. With hand over mouth, I scanned the area to determine the source of the foul. I read 'City of Ottawa Sewage Waste' on the side of a truck, and then it hit me, quite literally. I felt moist misty speckles of something hit my skin and the smell got worse. A rather large exhaust fan on the back of the 'Sewage Waste' truck was spraying the environs with a rank fog that was no doubt a mixture of piss, excrement, toilet paper bits, vomit and beer. Awesome. Vince and I ran out of the thick as quickly as we could, but we hadn't been spared. We smelled our clothing and our skin and came to grips with the abomination we'd just been faced with. The City of Ottawa had just doused us with piss and shit. Needless to say, buying children's books for my co-worker's teaching trip to India was an unpleasant and embarassing affair: unpleasant for the clerks dealing with me and for the other customers in Chapters, embarassing for Vince and myself, who smelled like we'd just crawled out of a toilet bowl. The only positive thing I learnt from the entire situation was that Febreeze gets the smell of piss out rather nicely.

Fuck you, City of Ottawa. You win this round, but I won't be around long enough for you to piss on me again.